Two weekends ago I went to Samaritans 50th annual conference weekend. I'd been told afew months previous about this weekend and about 'Sophie Andrews' (the chair of Samaritans, shes the one on the right). I was told she was a Samaritans caller and wrote a book about her life, and that is was an extremely poignant story. Intruigued, I borrowed the book from a fellow Samaritan (I blogged about the book a while back) I read the book in three days. Bla bla bla. SO, the book fucked me up abit and then I was insanely hestitant and apprehensive about meeting her at the conference. I attended the conference as planned, when we arrived we all had a formal welcome by Sophie. Although this particular situation isn't likely to be seen as emotional and overwhelming, it was. I can't explain how I felt as she stood behind the microphone, poised so collectively delivering her well thought out piece. I think an immediate sense of envy flowed through me, I envy her courage and thirst for life which she clearly presented to everyone as she showed her appreciation of our attendance. A woman driven by such sad circumstances completely turns the potentially life ruining experiences into life changing actions. Later on that night I walked past her in the corridor, as soon as I saw her I was telling myself 'go and speak to her, go and speak to her', it took all my strength to manage to walk up to her and speak to her than I can ever begin to explain. I walked up to her and told her how much I admire her, sounding like a complete twat also confessing how long I had been stood outside trying to pluck up the courage to speak to her. She asked me about why I became a Samaritan etc and gave me a hug. I felt honoured to be in the same room as her, for her to speak to me and show such care meant more than anything in the world. I am crying fucking writing this, words cannot explain how much meeting Sophie and learning about her life story and learning about her new life overcoming such a horrific childhood changed my life.